Do you reaalllllly want to put "porn editor" on your resume?
I've decided that my new worst fear is that I'll end up on "I Didn't Know I was Pregnant"
You're such a slut.
I prefer opportunist.
I cant believe you went home with her.. Your poor immune system and the shit you put it through.
There was a dismembered bleeding penis in my dream last night. That's some serious Freudian shit.
his name is devion and he has a voice like velvet and handcuffs
some girl at the bar told me my beard would tickle every inch of her body till she joy puked her face off.... that was so random and odd i just had to buy her a drink for having the guts to say it to me. WTF
Hope you don't mind if I never tell my family about you.
He fell on top of me at a party. I slept with him a week later. We've been fucking for 2 moths. Most successful relationship ever.
He just showed up with a bottle of wild turkey a half a can of coke and some marshmallows yelling "gobble gobble bitches" my roommates hate my cousin
I am stoned at Disneyland with my little brother. It's gonna be a good day.
Checked my bank account this morning...apparently I went to 7-11 at 4am and spent $22 on taquitos. New all time low for me.
I ate all of them. New all time low for ME.
I don't know. Seeing the vagina stretched out beyond normal proportions is like watching your favorite superhero die.
I've been on the cocaine and semen diet for the last 24 hours, lunch sounds great.
This is the fourth guy that I've broken in to gay sex. How the hell do they find me?
Positive reviews on angieslist?
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