The best thing happened. Some guy was butchering Conway Twitty at karoke and the power went off in the whole bar. And someone shouted "you pissed jesus off when you messed with conway!"
I just dry heaved the smell of jagerbombs....which proceeded to make me hurl for real.
Yes. Hungover. All the boys are going wakeboarding. Boys only. I wish I was a gay guy so I could go wakeboarding but still suck dick.
No. You are not the Kate in this relationship. I will do what I want.
maybe i would like her more if 99% of her sentences didn't start with "yesterday when i was reading twilight..."
he was sobbing,drinking his beer, all while confessing his love for her. awkward was an understatement...
I puked in the pool and didn't tell them, then they all went swimming. Is it dick to just sit back and enjoy the show?
Don't bang him. The amount of Jack Johnson he listens to is embarrassing for even a white person.
i'm exhausted. do you know how hard it is to put together an outfit that is professional enough to secure a babysitting job yet slutty enough to let him know i'm down for sex during naptime?
Im rolling face in a pizzeria. I want to be with people who love me.
I better not get a vid of you penile helicoptering
put something nutritious in your body. AND NOT JUST THAT JOINT.
So, I without a doubt haven't used the bag I'm now carrying since we were dating. Just had to discreetly throw out an unopened magnum in a bus station.
ive started thanking my toys after masturbating. might be time to get some fuck boys
Went to open youtube this morning, and the last search was "ten hours of whale sounds" Best pillow talk ever!
Randomize
