he just referred to himself as the billy mays of his frat.. heres how to order
I've never been so happy to start my period. I'm gonna let everyone in the store see me buying tampons.
By connection do you mean me drunkenly grinding my ass on his lap for an extended period of time? If so, then yes, we had a "connection"
The handjob she gave me was better than the best blowjob I've ever gotten.. Just imagine the possibilities.
do you ever get flashbacks of ppl you had sex with and just shudder at how gross they were/how drunk you were?
story of my life.
she got pretty angry when i tried to superglue her fingers together.
Dude, you walked in on me 5 times each times you had a different person with you. And each time you lifted the covers up and said 'whats going on in here'
What the fuck is wrong with your family? Why do you have unfrosted pop tarts.
Put some vodka in it
Its 7am
put some vodka in it
Hey, I'm off work. Wanna take a metric fuckton of adderall, possibly get daydrunk, and get my hair cut?
Put a Santa hat on my junk. He's wants to be festive too.
And all i could do was bury the part of me that felt guilty for cradle robbing and put on my dick swallowing bib.
He played Harry Potter Fan Fiction videos to get me in the mood. He might be the one.
christmas shopping: 3 hours in the liquor store...
A sultry night of tacos and sex sounds nice. Should I bring home milk?
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