Seriously dude, you need to stop beating off to the ellen show, it's just weird.
I just high-fived this girl after she swallowed.
Just walked past a girl wearing nothing but flip flops and an oversized sweatshirt crying by the front gates eating pizza. i just found your soulmate.
Theres a disney princess moonbounce on karen st. and I'm drinking beer at a little league field. this might end with me in jail.
Then he complimented me on how excellent I was at breathing through my nose
Fuckkkk i made out with a freshman.....but he's old for his age. THIS IS WHAT HAPPENS WHEN YOURE NOT AROUND.
I cant do that to my vagina yet. its my prize posession.
I'd say I should re evaluate my life choices, but I'd make the same decisions only faster and wearing a push up bra.
Why yes. I did get laid looking like that. My sheets look like there was a clown orgy
Can I just have sex with him and then never talk to him? I need him to be the Mr. Miyagi of my sex life.
God I miss you. I want to fuck your face... Then do all the girly cuddly shit too.
Like you haven't hit rock bottom until you have had to throw your own turd out a window
Waking up with cheese all over my clothes and my vibrator in my pants is a sign we drank way too much tequila last night
Fuck off. Since when do you love him??
Since he licked my arm to retrieve the macaroni and cheese he dropped. You have to appreciate that
Can't even lie. Mad respect
Of fucking course I get my period on Valentine's Day...
Randomize
