Ohh the wonderful, yet disgusting things she can do with her hair
I just realized that I'm gonna have to lower my standards if I want random head.
lets be honest. she's not NEARLY as much fun to fb creep since she got out of rehab...
I don't know if I want to cry scream puke or go somewhere and drink more. This is such a weird emotion.
I'm setting a 12:15 alarm for a taco bell run. Be awake or never wake up again.
You and Eric are like slutty bowling balls, and that poor family are the pins. They won't know what hit em.
strike, motherfucker.
It's either gonna be a cock in my mouth or a burger. You decide which.
Okay well we need to be adults. We're gonna end up with diabetes or some shit.
We had sex on roll out bean bag chair, and then proceeded to sleep with a blanket with dolphins on it. Happy birthday to me.
WHEN JENDA BENDA THE DRAG QUEEN TELLS YOU TO RUN, YOU RUN, BITCH!!!
Last night I watered my lawn and smoked a joint then cooked a steak. I'm really killing this adulthood thing.
This weekend I was almost blinded by a cumshot to the eye, so happy Labor Day I guess
They tricked me into going into that room by saying we'd smoke a bowl and then they all proceeded to have an intervention with me about my love life.
I just washed down my antidepressant with some pineapple wine. I'm the picture of mental health this holiday season
I don’t care if there’s a pandemic. My husband gave me a hall pass for my 40th birthday and I’m going to use it!
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