It's Friday. Sex?
it hasn't hit me that college is over yet. so far at home, i haven't brushed my teeth, taken off my makeup, or changed clothes before bed.
at a bonfire and someone threw a plastic cup in the fire. everyone immediately stopped what they were doing to yell collectively at him about what he was doing to the environment, then went back to drinking
only in oregon
it's ok. you also told me I can feel free to vomit on your blow dryer sometime.
there is a strobe light in my taxi. in what way is this safe.
Were at her birthday dinner and her dad keeps buying me shots saying when I was your age I fucked the shit outta girls
Hahahahahaha remind him your dating his daughter
Hey I have your shoes. Do you remember shouting "Police brutality!" when the bouncer was kicking you out last night?
We found him in the backyard throwing shoes onto the roof yelling "WHO BRINGS CROCS TO A HOUSE PARTY?!"
don't mind me. just hanging out in this cool air conditioned Babies R Us until the liquor store next door opens.
What kind of costume was that supposed to be??
I'm an orgasm trader!
sitting in the kitchen naked and eating stirfry, random dude left my room saying thanks and gave me a bottle of wine. explain...
if i dont text back till morning its cause i turned my phone off and changed my password to something i wont remember to stop myself from drunk texting...RESPONSIBILITY
Nothing like drunkenly buying a pregnancy test at 8 am to get out and realize your nip was out the whole time.
Its the damn oven. I think it wants to eat me.
Officially hit an ultimate low today. I was so hung-over I threw up on the ground in front of the jousting display in the London tower. But on a positive note, Brits are very understanding when you vomit on their history.
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