I heard Topanga got a DUI. I need that mugshot asap.
dont ever smoke after you drink again... i dont think ive ever seen...or heard of someone throwing up and farting at the same time. that is, if you were farting.
I don't know why girls would even talk to someone as drunk as I was.
Balls are wasted. Waste are ballsted. Ballsd wasted
you woke me up at 7 am banging on my wall.. what the hell
thats the international knock for joint time
sitting in my room in a shopping cart. they couldnt get my legs out of the holes. i want breakfast.
That girl is nothing but trouble. She's 40% red hair and 60% daddy issues.
Doing tequila shots with my ex to celebrate that we broke up... not awkward at all.
I was like a migrating bird last night. Navigating on pure instinct. Don't remember how... but I made it home.
That's the kind of activity you can only get away with by wearing a lion codpiece
I think he's an actor
That's not a good enough reason to wear guy-liner
Anyway, all that to say that tiny penises are a hassle.
I just realized it's officially fall..I had sex while watching Halloween
Everyone I slept with in 2016 is getting a Christmas card from me. Because I'm an adult.
I think I recall josh coming in to the room to tuck us in and give us a few condoms and I threw them back all furious and told him 'we don't use those.' Oh god
Randomize
