quit making up holidays to get me to go drinking with you
She thought that based on the way she feels that she got drugged last night, but come on, her turn on word is hello, who needs to drug that??
I had to have my mom pick me up from the party and the windows lock was on so when I went to projectile vomit out the window it wouldn't roll down and it splashed back at my face.
I don't judge her for getting booty calls at 2 in the morning, so she can't judge me for staying in friday nights and putting spray cheese on pringles.
Vaguely remember? You pushed George and two other fellas out the way to hug me, screamed gandalf before chugging your beer and smashing the bottle on the floor. I lolled.
How do I tell your little brother I lost my virginity wearing nothing but his socks?
Formal letter or email.
I've noticed we have slowly begun to phase the "B" out of our Bromance.
I found us a new booze connection and I'm writing college admissions essays. The future is bright.
You don't have to have sex with both if us but I would like a little positive fucking regard.
gay sex achievement: unlocked
what
you told me you were going out for groceries!!
I just added Tubthumping to the playlist for tonight. This is going to make or break the party.
Dude...are you really going to start sexting during our friend's memorial service?
think before you get married my friend it's my birthday and just got done jacking off
I'm not trying to analyze you I'm just saying you are being unfair to soup
Tonight’s your last chance for a danger free blowjob.
Randomize
