Rocking a Headband at the strip club, because of Rock of Love this shit is like their kryptonite, I smell like stripper butter and back child support.
he was so drunk he doesn't remember anything. I have to break up with him all over again
let me put it this way. im never saying "join in or get out" again unless i know whos in the room.
they have pregnancy tests at the dollar store
I feel like that is one of those things that you should not cheap out on.
I wish we were homeless so drinking on the streets was acceptable.
I can't leave. She doesn't trust me and my penis being out in the world without supervision.
I never thought I would say this but I have to clean queso off my vibrator
Just had lapdance from stripper that had her 5th kid 28 hours earlier. A for work ethic.
I woke up in bed alone w 2 bite marks on my boob... Salt and pepper shakers In my purse along w a bottle of steak sauce.... The drunkasauraus has struck again
My phone broke again .... im not really sure how im going 2 explain the teeth marks to the ppl at the Verizon store
Batchelotette party success. I woke up on the floor in nothing but a thong, a garter and a shirt that says Just Do Me.
Sean slept in the bushes beside my house again. Any reason he kept screaming/slurring 'it was all a bunch of goddamn lies' through out the night?
and the oscar for 'most creative swearing' goes to you for 'jesus's bloody fucksticks'
Rob and I are cross faded and the only one taking care of us is a drunk person who's making us dance.
i was asked to be gay of honor by three different girls and NONE of the groomsmen at any of the weddings is open to experimenting. i mean whats the point then.
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