These old people don't even realize they're giving me weed money for shoveling snow.
I JUST WANT SOMEBODY TO EXPLAIN HOW FORESKIN WORKS AND DO NOT UNDERSTAND WHY THIS IS A PROBLEM.
It was one of those "since we're naked anyway" type situations
Everytime I see a couple on campus walking and holding hands I just want to yell he's gonna lie!
There was a community pot of Ramen, and if you were in the pool you were either fully clothes or ass naked.
You swear the intervention is for her? I've fallen for that one twice.
I'm trying to figure if this dude sitting in his car with the door open is dead or just sleeping. Someone was probably wondering the same thing bout me 20 minutes ago. Your meeting is taking a ridiculous amount of time.
I figured it out. If I have at least 4 shots of vodka before I start my day, EVERY day will be a good day.
I literally have a bandage on my dick that's how bad she is at handjobs
legit question. can i put a condom down our garbage disposal? my rents are coming over in 20
my make-up looks really good tonight. I swear it had nothing to do with me finishing all of your strawberry vodka.
I would have been the big man on campus...just flop my wang out on the table and how them what they were gonna deal with if they dropped the soap
I mean, I'm shallow, narcissistic, and selfish, but I'm an amazing friend sometimes
Congratulations on giving me my first and second hickeys last night. I made it almost 30 years without one, but who needs class these days?
Shhh embrace your inner whore. Just embrace it.
Randomize
