have you ever wondered what it would feel like to stick those coneheads in your vaj
omg every time its on
oh my god. my mom just found my pipe. she thought it was a dildo.
like i said, there should be a sitcom about your family.
so i woke up in some guy's bed but then i realized i can atone for this tomorrow
part of me always dies a little when i go to the "2 women seeking 1 man" section in craigslist's casual encounters to find nothing there. it's tragic
just told my prof that "i dont give a fuck" about the final. nothing like a having a signed employment contract already
went for icecream. accidentally deepthroated it. my mom gave me a dirty look, but the kid behind the counter looked impressed
He just slept in my bed for a couple hours and asked lots of questions about gay sex. No, I do not have his number.
Between cock and motorcycle I'm glad I don't have to sit at work tomorrow
She sent me a pic of shot glasses on fire if that tells you anything
She said "don't make this weird" and then proceeded to sniff me.
I was freaked out. No man over 50 is allowed to touch me. Ever. Unless you're Michael Bolton. Then please do.
That gas station is used for only two things, picking up moonshine and getting murdered. Only two outcomes.
I'm pretty sure I did the Macarena with a gay guy while shot gunning a beer
Drunk is not a location!
I'm a stupid stupid woman who is totally going to rock this holiday season dick drunk on that Ginger
Randomize
