Is that you in the white hat?
Fine suit yourself
No one appreciates an amoeba in a balloon hat.
Mom and Dad are dead. Trust fund
she just stood in the kitchen yelling "REAL WOMEN HAVE CURVES"
No it wasn't her, this girl had both hands.
i was about to cum until he started doing shrek impressions.
He keeps the condoms in his bible. I guess stairs or elevator, we're getting to hell one way or another.
Why do I have peacock feathers super glued to my body?
Was the mom I hooked up with decently attractive I feel like her two friends were hotter
Febreezed myself at a stop light on the way to the IRS office. Judgmental glare from some old lady in the car next to me, thumbs up from her husband.
so gross sitting on a warm chair at a restaurant..you just know a fat person was sitting there shoveling food into their face for hours.
Am I over stepping my bounds if I ask to fuck in your new bathroom?
It has heated floors
Did we smoke in a portapotty last night? And if so, do you think the brown stuff covering my body is actually dirt?
I couldn't find my hair brush so I just brushed my hair with a cat brush. I should not be dating.
I just don't understand why your parents aren't supporting your dreams of being a medieval weapon smith.
Randomize