White coat. Heels.
Call meee
Ok, but just to warn you, I'm as drunk as a Kennedy right now...
In the airport and just saw a little boy put his head in his mother's crotch... I guess he took a whiff because he backed up and said loudly, "mommy your pee-pee is stinky!"
His foreplay reminded me too much of breastfeeding.
Ive been home for 20 minutes and I'm already in bed with a vodka tonic
I'm trying to spell out I love you with a series of photos of my penis, but I just realized I can't do the Y of you
His concept of male bonding is doing lines in adjacent stalls.
Apparently campus cops frown on lighting a joint off of the eternal flame on Jerry Falwell's grave...
gona look into getting a tetanus booster and carrying an adrenaline shot...its going off this weekend
she came back from her house with A paper cut , a 2liter of sprite with Bacardi , and half a mustache . we're inviting her more ofte
You burned the hair off your arms. Again.
It grows back stronger each time.
WEED IS MY SPIRIT ANIMAL
That one probably shouldn't have been in caps
Seriously dude...who threw up on Michelle? She's been crying for like an hour
Is it possible to be sexually attracted to someone's hair?
He walked in on me banging his sister and said "you're both old enough to make you own decisions. Carry on"
Randomize
