I cant date a girl that sucks dick at sucking dick
he doesn't care that i have a boyfriend so why should i?
logic in its finest
It's like you don't even want to get drunk with me everyday, anymore.
I don't think I can handle being a slut. There is a lot more emotional stress that I never realized.
Hahhaha I literally just rolled outta bed and went to get beer in my pj's and slippers. God I love graduating
you know it's gonna be a good 4/20 when you start saving up for it in january.
Is this helping you get pumped up or am I going to have to send you more dick pics?
Were you rubbing your penis on me while I slept? I smell like penis.
What does puking wasabi feel like?
Like snorting cocaine backwards.
Seriously? You DON'T remember putting all those Swedish fish in the waffle iron b/c you wanted "One big Swedish fish?" That waffle iron was a wedding gift.
I got your flops too. But yeah you rolled off your raft a bunch of times so we had to ask the white trash squad to help you back on. You bit one of them
MY INSIDES ARE BASICALLY BEING WRUNG BY A CHAINSAW IM NEVER TAKING PLAN B AGAIN
My stuff that was at your place last night smells like doughnuts. I'm not even mad.
YOURE A FUCKING ADULT. DONT TELL ME ITS PAST YOUR BEDTIME WHEN I WANT TO GET ANOTHER COCKTAIL.
Welcome to your 30’s, where every one night stand is most likely with someone’s father
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