Dude, I'm in her bathroom and there's crab shampoo... is it worth the risk?
You're missing what this discovery implies... she's got a fucking bush.
I wish there were wingman of the year awards.
so whenever I text yeah my phone automatically corrects it to yeahhhheeehhyeahyeahh .. too much party in the USA?
My mom can no longer prohibit me from smoking pot..I sell to her boyfriend.
Foreign porn with subtitles is a little disappointing.
You threw a hot dog at his face...I wouldn't call you either.
I'm glad I have good healthy relationships with my one night stands
Then he said something about how from that angle I looked just like his mom.
How many times do I have to drunk reject you for our friendship to become awkward? Cause were at 9 as of last night
I caught her walking around with a fake mustache, wearing a sombrero and holding an empty carton of milk. She's a hopeless cause.
No he's here. We were watching Harry Potter stoned as shit and he fell asleep with his head in my lap. I'll figure out what to do with him after Harry gives Dobby the sock.
If last night was a preview of 2015, I quit.
I don't think it counts as a booty call at 6:30 pm.
Also, there's definitely not a non-hilarious way to ask to stick something up your butt.
you never know when your going to find a surprise from me in your bed...it keeps you on your toes.
So how do I tell him I've been sleeping with his wife too?
Randomize
