I acted like I was still sleeping as she gathered her stuff to leave.. that's when she let one rip
You called information & said "connect me to johnny depp" when they told u it wasn't listed u said " try depp comma johnny he's expecting my call"
I found him crying and drunk, in my closet holding a picture of Tyler Perry. He managed to say"he's just so many people"
Just pulled an upper-decker at a hardware store. I believe I'm winning 8-2. It's obvious you don't shit enough in public.
no they seem fine, they're doing push ups and waiting for a charging toy helicopter
Just had a guy dressed only in a towel ask me for a cig, hug me and kiss me then proceeded to pee of the balcony while still talking to me and callin me baby
He left an apology note saying he had to work and that there was coffee, OJ and food on the table with two Excedrin. I left his spare key with the door guard and she said "too bad I don't go for skinny white boys or I'd jump you both!" Best one night stand ever.
Like her Facebook page isn't even hers. It belongs to her tits. It's Titsbook
There's a drag queen here that reminds me strongly of you. You should try crossdressing.
You got kicked out after 30 minutes, 3 beers and 2 shots. Group record. Also you kept rubbing his belly and calling him buddha.
Just cried to my husband about how much I'm going to miss my boyfriend... Maybe marriage is going to work for me after all
But now I'm just thinking when he said he "worked for the airline" he actually meant drug smuggling.
Made my roommate send me tit pics so I could send them to someone because I didn't want to move.
Double dirt bag award winner tonight. He picked me up in his wife's car.
Stay home. Ain't nothing out in these mean streets but plan b and regret
Randomize
