the last thing i remember is fucking her. GAME CHANGER i woke up in another bedroom to her younger sister blowing me
I'm cleaning the house. And I can't stop listening to Enrique Iglesias. Am I gay?
I even have the new album if that helps you make a decision.
Dude...disintegrating condoms. Think about it. For all the guys that wanna go raw dog but their girls won't let them, and for the girls that wanna get pregnant but their guys don't want a kid. What do you think?
I think you've been hitting the soco too hard again.
Saw an eatery called Rusty Taco. That sooo could be me.
I need input, can I pre-game my cat scan?
You're not required to sleep with every guy that spends $10 on you.
My only regret is that I have but one penis to give to your vagina.
It's not ok to announce to a group of people playing beer pong that a girl put her finger in your butt last night. I now know this
I just told the joker that my vagina is the bat cave and he needs to infiltrate it.
I mean seriously...It's like the universe is saying "your vagina is closed, move along"
It took me longer to jump start my car and get to his house than the fucking actually took.....
Afterwards the first thing I said was, "You know, you're probably the first guy who has ever gotten laid wearing Star Wars pajama bottoms."
it was a 'fall asleep on the bathroom floor after puking bc the cold tile is legit more comfortable than your bed' kind of night.
Why would you ask him if you could lick his chest?
He has a very lickable chest
I may just have to resign myself to life in flats. He's a sexy little chipmunk that worships me.
Randomize
