im drinking this country out of the recession.
38 yer olds are good kisserssss
she kept yelling 'call me bella'
But why is there no point in liking him? Does he have herpes? Is he married? Is he gay? Did he get his penis chopped off in a freak accident? If the answer is no to all of the above, then he is fair game
I want to apologize in advance for texting you a picture of my penis tonight.
I was mixing candy canes and coors light and was in a great place.
Idk he's just laying there passed out with a French fry up his nose and without any pants on. Boner and everything.
I made a bet with her that she would show me her tits if I finished my beer. Only on spring break.
I get so many dick pics from him...He has an unhealthy obsession with his own penis...
Then I did coke with my taxi driver where he then ended up paying me for the drive. You should try being a girl sometime it's super sick.
From what I heard you ordered him to lick your balls. Unless you've kept a huge secret I understand his confusion.
I dont have to work tomorrow im yelling gibberish at squirrels
Few clarical questions about last night: 1. How did we get home? 2. Am I wearing your underwear? 3. Where is Andrea? 4. Guy with nose ring last night hot?
1. You tried hitch hiking "like a pro" and flashed cars while sticking out your thumb until I called Michael. 2. I don't know but probably. 3. Who is Andrea? 4. Hot.
We're in an alley with a psychic wizard, shes reading our palms
Working from home has been great for my sex life! A few of my neighbors are in open marriages and several more wish they were!!!
Randomize
