using no condom is gross. my vagina has a dress code.
Um, that's called prostitution
Not if I leave it on the nightstand, then it's called cab money
i think im in love. he told me he doesnt care if i shave down there.
and i forgot to tell you that my armpit hair is now completely grown back. man i love winter.
A girl limped into my class 15 minutes late wearing sunglasses, leggings, and a kiss me im irish shirt. She sat down and took her glasses off and im pretty sure she only had one eye's makeup still on. Someone had a great st pattys day.
Sex and the city 2 and twilight getting released in the same month. God hates mankind.
Doctor said I have sports induced asthma.
Call me old fashioned, but around here we call that "out of shape."
Theres a picture of you hanging up on the wall in mcdonalds, i'm impressed
i was really disappointed no one would drink beer from our cleavage last night except for us
You've never even broken a bone. You singlehandedly disprove natural selection
I just tried to roll over and fell off the bed. I think that is the beds way of kicking me out
The smell of mosquito spray completely ruined the sex.
I woke up sick this morning, maybe sucking a random dudes finger at a bar last night wasn't that clean of an idea.....
After sending me a dick pic, he asked, "yay or nay?"
Had a girl with a moustache tattoo on her hand give me a handjob. That shit was classy as fuck. I felt like I should be wearing a monocle or something.
Randomize
