please say your awake. the girl i brought home last night...any idea on a name? she isnt up yet...
as soon as you compare a person to an animal, all sexual interest is out the window
I made myself breakfast and everything and then whoever's house it actually was came downstairs very upset.
I know I'm not learning anything when I can't even spell the name of the class I'm taking
For future reference, a lint roller appears to be the easiest way to get glitter out of a beard.
FYI I'm about to upload a vid of you to facebook of you screaming "SNACK ATTACK" and throwing cheetos at everyone playing pong...
Sometime between a drunk guy asking me if I'm a Beach person or a lake person WHILE HIS HAND WAS IN HIS FUCKING PANTS or breaking up a lady fight over peewee football league I started to reevaluate my life and self
I have hit nutritional rock bottom I am spreading peanut butter on to lays potato chips
I'm cuddling with a baby pig and drinking champagne right now.
I will sleep with anyone I have to to make sure you don't get deported
Best feeling in the world is getting a random boob pic from a drunk chick at 3 am.
"YOU ALWAYS BEEN A HOE YOU ALWAYS GONE BE A HOE. THAT'S JUST THE WAY IT'S GONE BE." overheard at temple
I expected better sex from someone with the word CHAOS tattooed above his dick. But on the bright side, he was down to watch a documentary on Honey Badgers afterwards so I guess I'll keep him around.
Been using bowl smoking as a method of time for so long I don't know how long it actually takes to get to work
And by "sexually intimate," you mean fuck buddies?
Randomize