No, don't worry. We're not going to get THAT arrested.
Literally getting boned by my flask right now. I didn't really think about this whole sneaking past security in a skin tight dress.
I don't care. I'm going to fuck John's friend and it's all your fault.
I literally had to tap out of the blow job. It was like a pornographic wrestling match
In need of cum proof mascara. Don't judge me.
How do you not remember seeing the kid from our chem lab table and repeatedly yelling "lab partners for life!" at him?
let's just say if he has a penis and he hypothetically needs to put it somewhere... i would take care of that for him.
You told me to ditch them in the park, and when she jumped onto the car to stop us, you told me to scrape her off against a parked Jeep. That drunk.
Out of desperation, I used the leftover sauce from my goat masala as a mixer for vodka shots.
Just getting in the shower.... found a "great job" sticker stuck to my boob.
So how was your night?
I've got the dick your vagina needs, but not the one it deserves right now.
I think my nap took me to another dimension
she hacked my macbook and downloaded an illegal version of the original pokemon red, completely nude in my computer chair. there were several levels of hornyness existing all at once
She's currently doing somersaults across the kitchen floor without underwear on. We may not make it to the bar.
I’ve been home 1 day and already had sex with my ex and got a blowie from her cousin and currently I’m getting molested by a cougar at the bar!!!! Plenty to give thanks for this year!!!!
Randomize
