He never called back after I emailed him my booty call contract.
Just saw a Mexican guy pushing a stroller with 3 twelve packs of corona in it with a toddler struggling to keep up on foot behind him
Her eyes are really red like she jus got out of the hospital and shes coughing ...80 ppl at her school do have swine flu dude
So your saying just a blow job?
i feel like im playing gay clue. i have to figure out where i am, who took me home, and what he put in me
worse. her friends hid in the bathroom while she gave me head and then screamed surprise right as i was about to cum
She had a maple leaf tattoo behind her ear and told me she liked my "playoff beard".
Only in Canada would your laziness be applied to hockey and rewarded.
Some guy just delivered flowers to my roommate cause he fell off a roof onto her at a party last night. I think they have a date tomorrow.
Well the nurse forgot to take all my stitches out, so my surgical tools are peroxide, kitchen scissors, fingernail clippers, a pocket knife, and 11 beers. Let's do this...
Hunting for men at chipotle... I feel like I should be more disappointed that this is the way my life is going but I'm really just excited for the potential.
I cannot even. Taco bell reception. Beers. New friends from Georgia.
Am I not being subtle enough by giving him a rainbow striped bong, during PRIDE MONTH?
He ate the contents of an ashtray and didn't puke, I think he can handle drinking a fifth to himself.
I got drunk and slept with the guy who looks like Jesus.
Typical.
I can't believe it is only 1:30...I may have to stab myself with scissors for an excuse to go home...
I mean, what's the polite way to say, "sorry but I can't date you cuz I'm sleeping with your boss" ??
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