those are such fre$h shoes
going to ignore the use of the word "fresh" in a sentence that isnt related to produce and/or other food stuffs and especially the part where you replaced an "s" with a dollar sign
hot ketchup is not a substitute for marinara
I just wanted to let you know I just licked gravy off of my boobs. Just putting that out there.
and this is why we should make december sharting awareness month.
i left with the words "thank you for undersanding my sluttiness"
That dick who always called me a slut in high school showed up at the clinic with boner problems. Then I was assigned as his nurse. Who's laughing now. I AM.
He pulled out, and the resulting cumstain on my sheets is in the shape of a fetus. The irony of this is both awesome and terrifying.
She just rubbed her face up and down my six pack cooing. Equal measure of weird and hot.
He was kissing me at red light while his penis was in an aluminum beer bottle peeing..
she's a nursing student, i didn't think vomit would freak her out so much
you puked ON HER
I told him I felt we were at the point where if I saw him talking to another girl, I'd probably choke him out. So I guess you could say things are getting serious.
Reports of my death were greatly exaggerated.
We have a lot of substance abuse to do tomorrow its sleep time
Taking body shots off hot Camren. Get here now.
I heard you ran into my sister lastnight. Do you remember making out with her and slapping my uncle?
Randomize
