im at planned parenthood. the form wants to know what our usual form of contraception is?
anal.
She was so bad on top that i found myself watching a TV that wasn't even turned on
that's the nicest way anyone's ever asked me to send them naked pics before...
If I wanted to fuck someone, I'd go for John. I'm meeting Bryan cuz I wanna get to know him better. And eventually fuck him. But not this Tuesday.
It's just like riding a horse. A very tall, gay horse.
He knows as soon as he hits chameleon eye status drunk, he is guaranteed to piss the bed we NEED to push him there
going to class with no bra.. is that saying "i don't give a fuck i'm one hour away from thanksgiving break?"
THIS IS THE EMERGENCY BOOZE SYSTEM. I AM EN ROUTE TO DEWITT WITH A FIFTH OF TEQUILA. THIS IS NOT A TEST
I'm sorry for the texts and anything that I said that may have caused confusion, pain or irritation. I shall not be drinking again. Furthermore I will not be keeping a phone on me should I fail to adhere to the prior statement.
How do you tell someone who's buying a pregnancy test to have a nice day .... Like how
Does Jim keep sending you pics of him in drag too???? If so, are you also slightly uncomfortable?
i officially have over $300 in my bank account. that's a year's worth of chipotle.
Dude random question. Where you with me when the vulture got electrocuted from the power lines and fell on the sidewalk in front of us?
Woke up on the couch with one cowboy boot on and a hat over my crotch. God bless texas.
I just racked up a fucking ginormous hospital bill because I came so hard I had an asthma attack
Randomize
