she's just sitting in a corner ripping all of the filters off her menthols
The line was so long at Kum n Go some guy opened & drank 2 beers from his 12 pack while waiting.
He's really hot. I think he's gonna be my reason to shave this winter.
GOING OUT OF BUSINESS: we're having a foreclosure party tonight...We'll also be raffling off a washer/dryer, microwave and a white tiger head.
I actually had fun getting arrested. That high.
Hate the very realistic pregnancy dreams. Like my dream when I birthed the pirate ships. SO REAL...
Just don't let me fall on anything that can be broken. Unless its a dick
Well, remember that night we took shrooms at graces an had to leave immediately to go home and hold each other on the futon and sob for four hours? That bad...
My roommate just walked in with a case of beer locked himself in his room and told us he was going to masturbate his feelings away...
my friend was passed out in the bathroom so I threw up in the coffee maker, not the pot the water reservoir that kind of drunk.
and please, if you feel the urge to call me crying tomorrow night, do so. i will be home bored and sober.
And god said thou shalt never deny free booze. And it was good.
i told you i was taking the Metra Train, and you asked what type of drug that was.. so yes i believe you when you say you were fucked up
That chick keeps sending eggplant emojis
Welcome to dating in the digital age. Better catch up now that you’re divorced
and eggplant is code for penis. It means she’s DTF. Go get her tiger!!!
the person she was housesitting for had a christmas card from charlie sheen on the fridge so we fucked on the couch and just slept in the bed
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