Something clean will definitely be barfed on tomorrow.
Wait, how do girls masturbate?
I dunno we use shower heads I guess.
..how does it fit?
So what does a sober person do in Vegas on a Friday night?
you were trying to give my penis an indian burn.
I just saw an old lady yelling at a dead pigeon for leaving the oven on.
I just smoked my last bit of kief with a grill lighter. This is what crackheads must feel like.
Nobody knew what to do when it was dead. You said fire up the George Foreman, I've never ate baby shark. She hasn't stopped crying.
One minute we were getting noise complainted by the security guards the next I was shotgunning a beer with them
just start off by saying "hey, i cockblocked my friend last night and need to make it up to him, could you help?"
thank you whoever used my nalgene as a flask. pregamin in chem
I was thinking more like a "sorry you can hear us, but I'm having the best sex of my life" cake
WHY IS FOOD SO DELICIOUS
BECAUSE SCIENCE
bartering with my concussed boyfriend to eat food with blowjobs
Just cried to my husband about how much I'm going to miss my boyfriend... Maybe marriage is going to work for me after all
he's been 21 for 38 minutes and he's already trying to fist fight this dude over his girl
awwwww babys first drunken mistake
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