So tired and we had a cokehead in the salon today making us bleach her whole head because she thought it would let her pass her drug test for custody of her kid
Oh.My.God.
Deffinety need to stop having sex on the beach just took a dump and it was mostly sand
Her father's a cardiologist, her mom's a lawyer...she just went from a 5 to a 10 real quick.
Its the little things i like about bein home like having actual toilet paper instead of subway napkins
today's the one month anniversary of me not giving anyone head. can you tell me you're proud
it's sad that this is a milestone
it only took 2 hours but we managed to melt the purity ring down with a butane torch
Seriously, I'm making a calendar and marking off the days with little penis's
I didn't get a chance to take any pics but the mental snapshot of her boyfriend calling her directly after we finished was a really special moment I wish I could properly share with you.
It's fucking New Year's. I can be soberish in 2013 after tonight. It's like the 30 years of grey area between Jesus' birth and death.
So your contact has been changed to "jizz weave" in my phone. Now, as strange and random as that may be, I'm slightly embarrassed to say that I have more than one contact that fits that description so please identify yourself.
We fired a shoe out of a medieval cannon. I know not where we got either one.
saying, "have a good fall!" After fucking a virgin boy is good etiquette, right?
The Dick I got last night was so phenomenal that I had to take a fucking personal day today.
I said I hate kids.This dude said he will sell his children to go on a date with me.
Well supposedly when the cops came, they say I tried to get them in a conga line like Jim Carrey in The Mask. So....yea
Randomize
