Oh my god he is having a sentimental moment right now.
He just sent me like a really heartfelt confession of love in which he ended with "make the apt, I'll hold your hand while you get your clit pierced."
she was definitely wearing a bumpit. i think it was the hollywood bumpit. i told her that i lived with my parents to get outta taking her home.
There needs to be a term for a female version of a rusty trombone
just found preset five on the shower head...pretty sure my pussy just had a panic attack
don't worry, your friend will b fine, they treat virgins nicely around here
My goal for this summer is to make enough extra money to be able to afford the ticket for water skiing naked.
He took me by the hand and ordered me to make him vodka soup.. I think I like him?
College is the ONLY place where you can pass off morning sickness as being hungover. I'm currently pouring beer in a spray bottle so I can spray it on myself and smell drunk.
Just left the frat house in last nights clothes minus my earings, shoes, underware, tequilla cap, and my dignity. If you see me on your way home just hit me
Dude just pulled his dick out and started stroking it and making s sound like cocking a shotgun....wtf was in those e pills
She kept throwing quarters at him and yelling "Goooaaallll!!" whilst taking her clothes off one by one. I'd say she had a good night
Do you ever get high and look at your cat and feel like you know them on an intellectual level?
and it's like......my shirt is off and he's talking about quidditch. why.
I'm sitting naked on my bathroom floor and it remind me of us.
That's my way of saying I miss you
Why did you have to tell me he has a hammer cock? Now I can’t stop staring at his pants.
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