New drinking game: drink every time the guy whose room we are in is creepy
enjoy the hospital
He just spent five minutes trying to sling shot a cheese-it off his dick and into my mouth.
turns out a healthy dose of cleavage is the equivalent of a swig of felix felicis
I just ran from Santa Claus in Kroger
So I'll spare the details, but I think I discovered I'm lactose intolerant. In my sleep. And you'll be needing new sheets.
You unbuttoned your shirt and started walking down the center of the road screaming traffic stops for Enrique Iglesias.
He just stabbed two olives and a pickle with a fork and deep throated it in front of my family
Not even marginally surprised
i just remember sitting on this bed, naked, STILL WITH A CONDOM ON, and suddenly these random girls were in the room shouting at me
i think the beer goggles wore off after hearing the story of her 2nd abortion
For the record, rock bottom is where you start crying during porn because your ex used to slap your ass like that.. Continue on with your day now.
I couldn't find pants for like 20 minutes so I was butt ass naked just sitting on your floor
My boobs keep hanging out of this shirt. I think thats the style I'm going for tonight
I JUST BROKE A NAIL MASTURBATING. WTF I could even enjoy my orgasm bc now I'm gonna have to spend $50 on my nails.
I like how I can go from sucking dick in the my basement to singing along to veggie tales with my family in a span of 10 minutes.
We just started our own DARE program: Drugs are really enjoyable.
Randomize
