Um, that's called prostitution
Not if I leave it on the nightstand, then it's called cab money
I have two girls sleeping in my bed naked and I ended up making it to class, what were you saying about staying in on the weekdays?
My poo smells like dog food. That's how I know it was a good night.
i dont understand blimps. what would happen if they collided would they just bounce off or fall to the ground.
dude how high are you right now?
do you think jeeves would know? you do it. ask jeeves.
When I start carrying a bottle in my hand, jumping from boat to boat with a grenade horn. YOU should know this isn't going to turn out well.
Everyone already knows you're a drunk, they understand.
Why is Kyle using one of my nieces as a blunt object to provoke and attack my other niece?
Tomorrow's thirsty thursday is now sponsored by the three time champion, chemisty failure. celebration starts asap.
We drove around last night shotting fireworks out the window while they had sex in the back of his car
Of course the bar would go completely silent right as I yell out "I don't have AIDS"
We got kicked out of the ice rink last night for drinking and checking strangers... but they let us keep the beer
They are taking turns pissing on the fire. This is my life.
His hands kept asking for sex, but all I could think was "dude, this is going to ruin my high".
I don't need to know how horny your mother is, hun.
I want to get up and tell you that smells delicious but I'm struggling with the idea of pants
Jack and I got in a huge fight at 6am. He fell asleep when I was giving him head so I freaked. We were both black out so I made a memo in my phone reminding me
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