His mom made me a necklace that i am supposed to wear to prom. She included a note with it, which had a star trek quote. What have I gotten myself into?
It's more exciting when they aren't single....and even better when you have to pretend that you just slept with their roommate while trying to do the walk a shame as their girlfriend comes marching into the apt.
Im not the least bit jealous of the life you lead.
Why does lindsey know I was naked in the kitchen?
I just found out how hard it is to put together a fake Christmas tree with a hangover.
I negotiated the purchase of an entire tray of like 50 jello shots for $8.
just had a flashback of you pouring champagne into my mouth from someones balcony..
the lady next to me just sniffed my hair, smiled, and then fell asleep. I almost started crying from that kind of creepiness
don't cry, we can learn from her
I'm going to call you, don't answer. Need to practice moaning to your answering machine again
You're alright. You just passed out while we were having sex. Then I'm pretty sure you peed. So I went home.
I GOT MY PERIOD THIS IS A GLORIOUS DAY I AM TOTALLY GOING TO MAKE PIES TO CELEBRATE THAT THERE ARE NO REPUBLICANS IN MY UTERUS!
I'm resourceful. I forgot we don't have coca cola so now I'm drinking Jack & Dew or Mountain Daniels. Also, I haven't decided on an official name yet for this drink. I'm leaning toward Jack & Dew
I need to have sex. It's becoming like a matter of public safety.
It was all fun and games until he noticed the hickey that he hadn't given me...
Only my second night back in town and I already have drunk middle aged women doing the robot around me in a circle.
Bug bite on my vagina. I think we need to stop this 'sex in awesome places campaign.'
Randomize
