But I'm halfway naked in a seductive pose! I just want to get this right...
Homeless guy on the metro is drinking beer out of a coke bottle. Hello friend.
This is a mass text: my birthday is tomorrow, and I want a full day of birthday sex. Send me your availabities. Time slots begin at noon
as I was walking out the door her and her roommate started singing "toot it and boot it".. I'm in love
DONT LET HIM GET NAKED. JUST SAY NO
Here's the thing, you got road head in two different cars tonight. You feel lucky yet?
Ran out of plates, so I'm using my sociology notes. Looks like they will finally have a practical use.
Trying to put a fitted sheet on drunk is one of the boss levels of slutty adulthood.
I’m a coke loving, addy selling, pot smoking CRIMINOLOGY major. If there isn't irony in that I give up.
I shit myself when I came, don't have flu sex
I decided to have a date tonight. Back on horse I go. Or aiming to be on a horse cock one day. You know. However that metaphor goes.
Her tramp stamp said call me maybe. You should have run for the nearest decontamination shower immediately.
Where does dick fit into Maslow's hierarchy of needs?
He let me share his family pack of hot pockets with him. Chivalry isn't dead after all.
A Valium induced mom decided to walk into my bedroom this morning without knocking. Guess what I was doing? FML
Randomize