I think I just need to sleep with both of them to see which I want to date.
You just went from promiscuous to slut in 3.2 seconds.
Side note: I think I fell asleep holding a cereal box
The fish's death was accidental. We all said a few words at his funeral. Roomie wanted to play only the good die young as he swirled down the toilet bowl
We have been pregaming the shutdown of the government since Tuesday. Send help, and some more liquor.
I have to take his virginity. It's what God put me on earth for. It's my life mission.
After he was done he gave me a case of landshark and tickets to tomorrows yankee game. This is the best nonrelationship ever
remember our old mantra: why can't life be as easy as we are?
What? My family got wasted on patron and I threw up on my pants and said it was gravy. Hot mess.
You don't want to cheat on your husband, you just want to fuck someone who isn't him.
I'm sitting on the toilet eating a Chick-Fil-A breakfast sandwich. How's your Monday?
lets do drugs on my lunch break tomorrow
She actually purred while I was balls deep in her! I have never been so proud to buy plan b at 6:30 in the morning.
Would I be crazy if I drove 1,000 miles for some dick? What mile does it become ridiculous?
So I just saw someone get shoved into a car trunk by your car.
she passed out standing next to the car. her head hit the door so hard the alarm went off. she instantly snapped out of it and started sprinting away
Randomize