You know you want to come over later
1:27a: Um no
1:45a: Maybe
2:05a: Probably
2:38a: I'm outside, let me in
I love waking up with his head head between my legs, it makes me feel special
The drunk teletubby stumbling out of the place tipped me off..
I just found pie in my hoodie pocket... This break needs to end.
when i'm drunk i think im just gonna point at him and yell adultery is a sinnnn. youre going to helllll
My roommate is trying to suck beer out of the rug.
I puked on myself in front of a customer. all. over. myself. thanks Saturday nights
July fourth my place, drunken bubble slip n slide. Yes this is happening and yes I am 31
Almost just bought a peacock. I need to get off Craigslist
She busted her face in a tragic twerking accident. Marking the 2nd time I have peed my pants laughing.
It also means I'm watching porn with mario earphones so i can hear. Possibly the best way to mastrabate EVER
Dude. I don't even want cuddles. I just want an acknowledgement that I just had balls in my mouth.
It’s like a buffet of marriages! Every option is available to you!
Sometimes you gotta do what you gotta do... and then you need to delete the history so you're girlfriend doesn't see it.
he said he only had one rule...that he'd only go down on me 3x a day. so far this is turning into the best relationship ever.
Randomize
