i cant finish this easy-mac because i need it for a chaser.
just did the walk of shame by his grandma. what the fuck is an old lady doing up at six am?
just saw a girl who had one of those monogrammed backpacks... her initials are VAG. is this a sign?
He said to me this morning that we should finish these beers, go and get plan B then on the way back, go to the pub to celebrate the death of our baby. I love Manchester.
Tidal wave of highness just hit. Find shelter and catnip. gloves. zebra striped car washes.
Drinking gin at a party, riding a giant inflatable walrus all around the living room.
While I'm on hiatus from the Russian potato nectar, it is my wish for others to enjoy it in my stead.
If you could watch a water balloon run... That's what it's like watching her run.
Whats proper etiquette for apologizing to your wife for being so drunk you stood up and pissed on the bedroom floor next to the bed?
Please keep in mind you are asking relationship advice from a girl who fucked a guy just because we have the same name. Just keep that in mind.
They won't let me buy alcohol in the airport until 9am. Super judgemental
She rode me like a jockey on that tiny couch. Then we spooned.
Can't tell if it's the drugs or science magic, but I *THINK* that mouse just turned into a squirrel.
i believe in u and ur pee
Do you think Ashley had her twin sister tag in for our date? The sex was different and I think a mole was missing
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