Nice. Sry i missed. Also sorry that i pissed on my toothbrush last nite
Sink seemed easy target but balance was no good
Godddamnit i jsu woke up in oharee. My connecxtion left an hro ago. Thosse flight atttendants can DRinK
i love marijuana more then i could love a human baby.
Just walked by a guy on campus YELLING 'Im still hammered'
yeah, and when i walked in on them fucking he said "go away, i'm making sons."
he quoted the bible to break up with me
But Monday we'll be living in a post-apocalyptic hellscape. Also, I'm going to a champagne tasting.
Are we going out tonight?
My conscience says no but my vag says yes
I was asking the bouncer, "if I fall will you catch me?" which then turned into "if I jump off the roof will you catch me?" He said no.
Just dont tell him. Tell him you colored your vagina for breast cancer awareness month. He will understand.
I don't give a damn about what he wants to do with his life. Personalities are for pussies.
IS SOBER OCTOBER A THING?? WTF WHO ARE THESE PEOPLE?
Who has the safety vest from this past weekend Additionally, who has the dancemaster glove?
Im so drunk and the cops showed up so i ran on all 4's through the woods because i had no shoes hoping they would mistake me for a fox
What the hell kind of sad excuse for a bottom are you
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