Dude. I just woke up without a shirt or bra on. Apparently I fell asleep with a quesadilla in my mouth. I can feel my liver hating me.
I have carpet burn on my ass, I'm rethinking my decisions last night.
You're the only chick there. That's not an orgy, that's called a gang bang...
So... I just got back from the chiropractor... And he said I have a slight neck injury from head banging too much. Fuck yes.
We just used hot candle wax from our joint lighting candle to make a bunch of new small ones how stoned are we
Nothing says "I'm a sorority girl" like puking at 830 in the am, wearing my anti-hazing pin, and getting ready for a tea party.
I have to have sex with him again. I feel like I need to train him so no other girl experiences that bad of sex.
I keep hearing lesbian porn and I'm the only one home. I don't think this is healthy
I remember telling you it was cold out because the sun was going to explode and people were going to fight for corn. I feel I've mislead you.
The chick who threw the party was all pissed cause she thought I made out with her boyfriend. Admittedly, I did, but she was throwing up and crying at the time so she really can't be that mad.
okay when i look at this i can see it on the future news along with the headline "picture scandal involving senatorial candidate sexually harassing drunken idiot in what appears to be a pink room of pain"
You need a sexual gate keeper
I'm not sure what step "make amends" is, but my phone is on
But there's never enough margarita money.
This is going to be one of those situations where we lose a day, isn't it
Fall is here I will miss walking downtown in nothing but paint and pasties
Randomize
