If Curt Schilling could pitch a game with that blood-filled sock... if Tiger Woods won the 2008 US Open with a torn ligament, then I'd be an embarrassment to the human race if I couldn't manage to at least jerk him off even if I was still crying after he put it in my butt.
STOP SENDING ME DANCING JESUS FORWARDS.
you got so mad from losing a game of beerpong that you went into another room by yourself and practiced for an hour and a half.
85% positive I just found a hair of a certain variety wayyy in the back of my mouth between two teeth while flossing.
Oh shit. The kids are pole dancing on a broom. It's like I'm seeing my future offspring before my eyes.
You held your own hair and threw up into a red cup...I think they were more amazed than upset.
Also I'm 95 percent positive we ate food naked together
Yeaaah. I'm kinda wary about that guy. Does he still have that taser that he found on the train?
Chris threw beer can at guy. Guy ended up being a fighter. Chris got his eye socket broke. Fighter got hand re-broke. Chris is passed out. Fighter is in kellys bed. everybody won last night. I think.
Please tell me there isn't another video of me on the toilet...
So nowhere in the dress code does it forbid me from showing up to City Hall in a gorilla suit to meet the mayor.
I'm at a new rock bottom. Malibu on ice at work because it's the only thing they've got and no mixers.
If I make it home without being sick in this captain's hat it will be a fucking miracle.
I haven't had an orgasm since 2014. So you cam see why I'm having a bad year.
How many hotdogs are you going to eat today?
THE LIMIT DOES NOT EXIST.
Randomize
