At my wifes high school reunion. Found out her nickname was 'Back Door Brooke'. EVERYONE is calling her that.
I drink way too much to have a type. Last weekend I picked up a guy who calls me "baby girl"
The money is just too good to quit doing it. I'm using the same justification strippers use.
Way to ruin everything
I am drinking jager with a cat, your argument is invalid
I did a hand stand against the glass wall at Ziggy's with no panties on and got 3 phone numbers. Thank God I shaved this morning...
If it makes you feel any better, I had my finger up some guy's butt today... Dominatrix training, ya know...
You better be making out with him cause we're sitting here with this awkward british girl watching videos of goats singing maroon five
I also point out to everyone that she looks like DJ's gf on Roseanne.
I spilt beer on the table, and she quickly got a straw and yelled party foul and made me drink it.
I've discovered my ability to crush a man's ego is greater than my hate for beer.
Talking to him sober hurts my brain
The man sent me a video of him doing the helicopter, the least I can do is go visit him in the hospital
I did not pay that kind of money so that It could be hidden. that bra needs to shine in glory so that it can be seen by the world.
Last night I recall my hair going up in flames. This is evident by the burnt hair smell that is following me around this morning
So drunk me is not subtlety trying to get her boss to cheat on her husband and have a lesbian affair with me. Sober me is ok with that.
Randomize
