The cop didn't care that I was peeing on the wall of my dorm building... All he said was, "come on, it's 9am."
Welp...herpes.
Bret has after-school detention for writing Brianna has a stinky vag on the ground at recess.
I woke up this morning with gum gluing my ass cheeks together..
I can't decide if I actually want to know or not..
He told me his mother taught him that move. What the hell do I say to that?
Just did my hair and make up at mcdonalds so we're in the same boat.
I've taken to hiding pictures of us around his room so that he'll forever feel guilty for dumping me on Valentine's Day... And to potentially cock block any hook ups.
Yeah well tell that to drunk me. She seems to have no standards or gender preference.
You kept trying to use my cat as a napkin.
I faked more orgasms with him then ever should be allowed for someone this pretty.
oh man that would be weird.. i feel like we should do dirty things before anything super intimate like a massage.
Just give me 5 advils and some sunglasses and I'll knock out on this couch no problem.
Well, we 69'd in the Jacuzzi. If that tells you the kind of night I had. Neither of us knew we could hold our breath that long. Deff. Most. Dangerous. Sex. Ever.
Oh yeah, nothing says welcome home like walking in on your parents having sex on your bed while the dog is watching, they told me to wait until they were done...
Showed up to pick her up in my boxers. Lets just say im 2 for 2 with this new idea
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