i just made an omelette with the cheese and ham from a lunchables. and ketchup packets
julia child would be proud.
my mom just asked me about sexting and if I have ever sent a naked picture to anyone. i fucking hate fox news.
The water bill last month was outrageous. We have got to stop fucking for hours in the shower
sitting on the counter. eating honey. crying, because coldplay sounds beautiful on the radio. highhhhh as the sky
Btw sorry for throwing that bag of ice at your face lastnight....
One minute we were getting noise complainted by the security guards the next I was shotgunning a beer with them
I like the odds of his and my children being professional athletes too. To support me in my old age, see I do think about the future.
I woke up to find that chris drank one of my contacts.
Yeah he's good at that.
It's hard to take you serious when you're crying your eyes out wearing an adult sized onesie.
And think got sick again from going outside naked. Word to all females...don't try the naked trench coat thing.
Drunk girl in a bikini just tried to bite my face, it's officially spring break
He came so hard that he yelled what sounded like a spell from Harry Potter.
He just ranted to some customer about fourth of July being ruined and I just shouted USA the whole time in the background. It was kinda epic
It's almost like sex was the ice breaker and now we're sociable at the gym
Finding my pants in the morning should not make me this proud
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