Shes cool when Im fuckin smashed.....Sober.....She suuuuuuuuuuucks
smell my finger.
Black out sex on the trampoline? yes please.
Her problem is just that he inner beauty is just as ugly as her physical beauty
no, i'm not a lesbian.. i just really want to fuck you while drinking, thats normal in a friendship.
Eating meat and looking at porn while roommate is at church for Ash Wednesday. Win.
His ankle bracelet only gets in the way when I'm trying to take off his pants.
I just watched a woman break three wood planks with her boobs. I don't know how I feel about that
It would be celebrated in history as "the orgasm heard round the world"
We went rollerblading down high street singing "Free Falling"in ketchup and mustard costumes. A car full of guys drove by and yelled out their window "Need a hot dog with that?!" Naturally, we woke up at their apartment.
It was literally 8 o'clock in the morning. His horniness knows no bounds.
I'm still a bit day drunk and decided to go for a run. You may get a snapchat of me vomiting soon
If you walk into a place and someone says "happy birthday" while handing you a shot. You. Take. It.
Ur creepiness is now affecting my life and I'm not okay with it
when I finally convinced you to get off the floor you looked at me wild-eyed and said "the carpet was a VAST EXPANSE OF SEA"
Randomize
