she looked like the before picture.
My workout was carrying 2 cases home from the grocery. It's Bowl Week.
I knew we were gonna fuck after she told me she's seen that Porno before
I just woke up in a puddle of boob sweat. Definitely time to consider a reduction.
My penis hasn't been this frustrated since I was like 13 and I awkwardly got boners at school dances
I can't wait. Forget the royal wedding. This is the most anticipated hookup of 2011.
Doing shrooms is fine until you get raped by curtains
A gentleman never tells..... therefore i will neither confirm nor deny the attatched photos
Two things. 1) party at my house this Friday 2) what was the name of the Australian you fucked on the cruise ship?
Her ex was at the party her housemates were having. He knocked on her door asking how she was while we were going at it. Turns out they were trying to work things out. Don't think I'll ever forget his face when we walked out of her room.
I have to hand it to her. In my heyday I took home the 'biggest shitshow of the night' award 9 times out of 10. But I passed the torch on to her last night, and she went skipping merrily far and away with it into the enchanted world of aggressive alcoholism. Is this 30?
Dude just walked up to me, gave me his number and said, if this number ever calls its my penis,better keep that one handy. I cant lie its the best pick up line ever, im calling his penis.
What's with guys asking if I wanna "kick it" like I'm some fucking 19 year old
On a scale from 1 to 10 how gross is it to get a chili dog from a vending machine?
After we won that round of beer pong you attempted to swallow the winning ball whole claiming you had the mouth and jaw of a snake.
A snake? I must've been gone...
After that you got naked and hissed at people the rest of the night..
Randomize
