so they made cookies with their faces printed on them...I ate jaime...she tasted like poop
I wish my mouth had a period so that could be my excuse on those days I don't feel like giving head
Just turned elections for the sorority into a drinking game. Right on.
i dont even know how to be here
It's happening again. I feel like I'm under water and my heart beat matches "Teenage Wasteland"
Getting sheets for college, what is the thread count that shows the least amount of cumstains?
630.
Vodka shot parachutes
Fucking utilizing a thrid story dorm room
While I was sneeking out of her apartment, there was a giant cage with a parrot in it. I half expected it to squak "hit and run...hit and run."
Well, after emptying the contents of my stomach into a fucking rose bush, the only things moving through my digestive system are pills, coffee, and my own lip gloss. If that gives you any idea what kind of a day I'm having.
The hardest part about being a child of divorce is when you're at your dad's house but your condoms are at your mom's house.
Yeah but if you conceived a child on a park slide that would be pretty awesome
My mom just walked in on me naked taking a shit and packing a bowl...the only comment she makes is, she wants her Tupperware back after my pot's out of it. Best mom ever.
Although can we find me a starter dick? I don't want security showing up again. That was awkward.
I woke up and saw that my last google search was "Bacon neck".
That 2-CB was ass.
You mean the asprin cut with pez?
Randomize
