Turn sideways at McDonald's = actual directions to a winery
i wish that i had sketchier friends so that it would be easier to get drugs
i convinced her that her period would come back if we did it doggy style
Gave the kid in the wheelchair at the bus stop a beer and proceede to lift him on the bus. porch drinking brings out the best in everyone
Hey did where's my bong?
In the tree out back .... Top branch on the right
Should I bother to ask?
Dude when we asked him where he lived all he could tell us was "by the slurpees." That fucked up.
It's like some sort of initiation to finger one of them... so I did it. And got high fived afterwards like a dozen times.
Those were right hand only?
I was trying to fart in my sleep in the hopes that he would leave
Well she described you as a "Sex-Viking", which seemed to be only slightly related to the red beard. So things are looking good!
I feel like someone poured gasoline and bleach in my nose and lit it on fire.
Why! I don't feel that at all!!!! I feel jipped
Well ill be drunk so just come find me. Its like where in the world is Joey San Diego
Somehow his homemade liquor activated memories of my semester abroad three years ago. I ended up yelling random medical advice in German, while my roommates played dress-up with the cat stoned out of their minds. I consequently gave up on dating. Back in the ONS game.
I just remembered something. We made out last night, people cheered.
There is blood all over my sheets and no discernible source.
We kicked down a door together last night, pretty sure that qualifies us as best friends.
Randomize
