My sheets at my parents place are clean. No braveheart but I can paint myself, yell "freedom", and sword fight you with my cock. So come over.
just got pizza delivered to the hot tub. its easier than i thought to be this lazy
5 years of college and never once did they teach us how to respond when you overhear a group of 7th grade boys who are in your class talking about how you're definitely DTF
children are so perceptive these days... and horny
no its okay don't call 911, she's alive. just stopped by her house and banged on her door. she said she turned her phone off because she "had to be alone with her shame and embarassment". typical.
well I washed the adderal like an idiot. the capsules broke but the beads inside were intact. so my landlady came in and caught me licking the dryer lint screen
i almost hope i AM knocked up so i can ruin the rest of his life
her boyfriend dumped her for my exgirlfriend. so filming our hookup is pretty much a definite.
she's lying on the floor with a bottle of vodka, belting shakira. plz advise.
took adderall before wrapping presents, ended up making paper snowflakes for two hours
YOUR BALLS CAME OUT. DONT CALL ME A SHITSHOW.
Found a grenade pin. Still no Dave.
telling her she was ovary-acting wasn't the greatest idea. doing it in a text so she could see your spelling was where you really went wrong, though.
I just found out that order of 30 Beefy 5-Layers last weekend has achieved legendary status among the Taco Bell employees. Is there a Stoner Achievement for that?
Just had an orgasim to the Star Spangled Banner so.. it was all worth it.
DRUNK COOKIES
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