he just quoted gucci mane to try and get me to give him head.
Get the fuck buddy a birthday present or not? He def deserves one, but how do I explain the debit card charge to my husband?
we went to get a refill in his room and ended up having sex and passing out. then he woke me up with sex and gave me a beer for breakfast. i never want this to end
My leg won't stop wagging. It's like it's congratulating my vagina.
I've had more sex in the two weeks since we broke up than I ever had in any two weeks we were together.
Not even desperate vagina wants small cock.
Glad to hear you raised your standards
In conversation she brought up that she slept with Tucker Max on the UF football field
I don't remember much but I think I'm wearing your underwear, and for that, I am extremely grateful.
How interesting! I'm adding this to my list of things to discuss with you between fucks.
Well. Your father was, shall we say, privately surfing the Internet when he found a video of you and Kevin. This was on a very public website honey.
By the way, Kevin! OMG good catch honey!
He tried to convince me that it wasn't really that small and all he had to do was pull back the groin fat. It was still small.
is telling someone you can be his trophy wife the same as proposing?
You lost me at unexpected butt stuff. Everything else I would probably do.
GIIIIRL I AM STONED AF AND I HAVE A HOMEMADE POT PIE IN THE OVEN THIS PARTY IS LIT.
My boss's toddler just went through my bag and found your vibrator...you owe me a drink.
Randomize
