When we were fucking i started barking and growling at her.. you shoulda seen her face
Jason Williams (yeah the ex-nets center...) drunkenly told me that, while drinking, I should take an ambien and a cialis before i go home...that will "give me a 25 minute window to have sex and then goto sleep before the bitch starts bothering me"....
you spent the like half the night trying to figure out the puzzles on the back of the captn crunch box
We're so high we're finding things in the room to build a submarine with. So far we have two cardboard boxes, a piece of wood, puffy paint, and an empty bottle to use as a periscope.
Seriously... There's something wrong here. I'm drinking vodka to mask the smell of chocolate on my breath before I get home and he finds out. I fucking hate couple dieting...
The extent of my physical activity is running from the cops.
I think u should go home and go to bed. If u get arrested in the Ohio river u go to jail in Kentucky. Nobody wants to go to jail in KY.
Dad's drunk, trying to hook me up with a 43yo, and keeps saying one and done. Mom is on the verge of tears and disowning us. You missed a good birthday dinner.
he is allergic to cats. we can only glue dog hair on him. otherwise he might die and i dont want to be responsible for that.
ahaha ok
let's call it "werewolfing"
Lol okay. He's gonna show up with like a trunk of sex toys. He's like the mary poppins of hotel fucking.
The other guys kept waking up so I hid... Like, dick in mouth, hiding in his sleeping bag
your penis is a great and majestic leader among the penises.
I got my period today and I cried tears of joy. And then just cried because my cramps are actually killing me from the inside out.
You're the best thing in my life, followed closely by cannabis and trashy romance novels
These girls next to us are doing shots called bath salts. Sadly this is the classiest bar I've been to since i moved to PA
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