i feel like after you turn 30 you aren't supposed to black out anymore
When the phrase "Wow your huge" came out of her mouth I knew it was gonna be a good night.
i just defriended some girl because according to her status she "doesn't give a fuck about shark week."
We just made watching Intervention into a drinking game. We drink everytime someone does drungs.
She does have a great personality.
Yeah, in her vagina.
i want to give my vagina back to god and say no thank you
I have a feeling this won't be the last time I wake up wrapped in a shower curtain with the words "Blame Bono" spray painted on it
going to class with no bra.. is that saying "i don't give a fuck i'm one hour away from thanksgiving break?"
Can I get a "hallelujah" for railing my pastors daughter last night?
I asked him why he was eating an entire can of refried beans, the only answer I got was "revenge"
You walked up to me, grabbed my face and said "I just peed in the sink!"
Well I didn't get a shacker shirt but I somehow managed to come home with superman socks
I also tried to hide a bottle of vodka in a build a bear last night so that something that happened in my life
Wanted to let you know I hooked up with your brother.
i thought he was gay wtf
I will bring Jesus to court if he punishes me for that
Randomize
