We started making out, then he decided to get naked, put on a condom, and proceed to dry hump my leg, sweat pants and all, until he blew his load. I thought this was college. I immediatly left claiming I can't sleep in other people's rooms. He didn't even bother taking off my hoodie.
Still waiting. He said he'd call between 2 and 10... apparently he's like the Comcast of drug dealers.
not only did i soak my thesis by spilling celebratory shots on it, but i also stained it with lipstick making it obvious i tried to drink the vodka off it......dgaf, worth it.
it's sunday funday. and also, who can outslut the other day.
Found crayons in my cigarette pack. I can't help but feel you may be responcible.
She came to college a virgin and left on court order. We ruined her.
I give him a gold star every time I orgasm. His room looks like he's freaking King Midas.
My bed is full of blood and feathers
i was giving head the other day and thought of your all penis tastes the same quote and couldnt stop laughing
He compared my blow job skills to finding gold treasure in a gold chest, so there's that.
You were wearing a sequin mini, with Tevas. And you still got laid.
I think putting on real pants was half my issue with today
just woke up on the floor with a bottle in my hand. and by bottle, i mean a baby bottle. half filled with tequila.
Just as an add on, don't expect me to wear matching bra and underwear. If I do, I'm probably drunk and it's your fucking birthday. Have a great night.
I shouldn't be allowed to be in america for NYE... or any major holiday for that matter
Randomize
