my roommate's gf just broke up with him and hes in his room crying and listening to coldplay while beating off to pictures of her...
Call me when you get off. I have stories about black lesbians in jail begging to braid my hair...
her best friend is in town and she told me that they used to fool around when they were drunk and I'd have to "help keep that from happening"
you motherfucker
he got everyone in a room, turned off the lights and started throwing knives at the wall. if you got hit, you had to drink...
She asked the woman in the drive through to cover everything she ordered in mayonnaise, including here chilli cheese fries. Didn't happen. Then she started swerving at the car next to us screaming, asking if they had mayonnaise.
If I had that in my pants Omg I would want a shirt made so everyone knew
It was close. I was the girl scoping out where all the garbage cans were located in the class just in case.
This is why you don't heavily drink before 2 midterms.
Due to last night I think a roommate constitution should be made. The first law will be designed to prevent any chicks below a 4 to enter the house.
Dude, please tell me you know why there's a naked chick asleep outside my room.
But idk if I cried about life then banged him or banged him and then cried. Chicken or the egg?
My walk of shame wasn't complete until I projectile vomited clutching my truck bumper while he just smiled with that look of regret.
With a butt like mine I'll never have to pay for Netflix again.
Someone had to wrestle her in the chocolate pool, I'm glad I was man enough to step up and do it
By talk things out did he mean have passionate angry sex?
really enjoying the fact I don't remember how the staff party ended. feel like I need to shame drink today
feel at noon?
Randomize
