THAT stays in the CAR. And if one fucking person who was NOT in the car brings it up, I will KILL you. Thank you.
..So we should take it off Youtube?
I have to be home in time to watch my friend on that Lifetime show about having babies. And by friend, I mean the girl I had a lesbian experience with at a party 3 years ago.
This whole situation could've been avoided if you would've just let me open the beer
We're all in the kiddie pool on the porch. Fully clothed. Watching porn. With my manager.
CHAZ BONO WILL BE ON THE NEXT SEASON OF DANCING WITH THE STARS.
Internet Is back!
MY NEWS TRUMPS YOURS.
You really could become the cat lady we've always dreamed of.
Hot dogs and hydrocodine is NOT the combo of champions
conclusion from last night: i should wear boob glitter more often
I stopped him mid keg stand to show him how cute my bra was...
I don't want my vagina anymore.
You grabbed my dick don't call me son
Teacher vividly described one of the times he did shrooms, sat down, sighed, and told everyone to go do drugs and let us out 15 minutes into class. I love community colleges
I'm a history major and he's the descendant of TWO presidents. Did you really think I wasn't going to sleep with him?
i just turned on my printer and found 10 pounds of german chocolate inside. i think i found where you hid your candy last night
I know you do it only because of my toyota, but thank you for fucking me. Seriously.
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