I'd steal beers with my tail. If I were a monkey.
I feel like I should I write an apology note to the frat for falling down stairs, passing out on the couch, and chugging the entire bottle of burnetts at semiforml last weekend. Apparently I was the main topic of discussion at their chapter meeting last night.
I wish i had more things to dip in ranch... That's the most stoner thing i've ever said
I'm not being over dramatic, but I think my heart is going to stop beating.
Im not spending 10 to get hit on by potential transexuals even if they are cuter than most of the girls I dated.
Apparently you can talk a girl into leaving the bar and coming back to your tent, who knew?
The camera shows a viking with a white mask, a creepy green guy, a gorilla, and a pumpkin throwing eggs and laundry detergent in his yard
OHHH and there was a Batman too.
i just keep picturing us drunk surrounded by kittens.
my grandma just gave me a shoebox fulled to the top with tootsie rolls and condoms with a not that said "enjoy college, find a big cock" i'm not sure how I feel about this
Just seen a chubby version of you. Nearly kidnapped her. Perfect woman
Are you sure he's still you're boyfriend when you're sober?
There's a potato with a bite taken out of it in the kitchen
Be there in 20. Want icecream?
sex. I want sex. I like where your heads at though.
I'm not just straddling the line between love and hate, I'm dry humping the shit out of it
So my dad just asked, "did you leave without pants a lil bit ago?"
Randomize
