Shitting during a conference call is so empowering.
And her vagina tasted EXACTLY like a slim jim
I interrupted her conversation with, "are we gonna fuck yet?" and she immediately got naked. thanks for the blind date
He was on Keeping Up with the Kardashians it was like a deed from god to bang him
the fact that he forgave me for making out with the bartender is proof that i can fuck my way out of anything.
One thing noone tells you about getting put in the drunk tank is do it barefoot. You get free flipflops.
You called me to pick you up from the bar at 9:00. When we drove over the speed bumps you put your hands in the air and pretended you were on a roller coaster.
Wanna get really high and go on a Valentine's Day Sexathon cause we're both single or would that be weird?
Want to go swimsuit shopping? First one who cries buys ice cream.
I got you a "sorry you think I'm pregnant" present
She's lucky her pussy is worth listening to her ramble about bedroom furniture for 30 minutes
So my POF profile is full of Archer references. Only guys who get them will be getting any response to their messages.
At least you didn't have a hemorroid rupture while banging
I feel like that xmas present negates everything we were taught as little girls. Putting out DOES pay. God bless us everyone
Wait an hour then go and untie him. Bring toilet paper and some spare underwear. Want anything from Starbucks?
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