i hope you realize when i said "grib" earlier i was referring to the gridded binary, a mathematically concise data format commonly used in meteorology to store historical weather forecast data. also meant in referential conjunction to my probability math class that i am failing at roughly 215pm tomorrow afternoon.
Why on earth are you answering my texts promptly? Thought for certain you'd be caught up in some ridiculous orgy by this time.
I'm that good.
so i have my big date this weekend, and i was practicing giving head with a bottle in the shower. i stopped and looked at the botton of the bottle. it was PURE MOLD! if i die, dont tell the doctors how this happened....
I just realized i came back home with my lei that one night. How do i forget my bra but remember my lei?
Osama's death just kick started our Cinco de mayo celebration. Margaritas for anyone wearing red white and blue!
i have at this current moment imbibed enough alcohol to float immerse or otherwise submerge a goat of respectable size. tequila
I saw a kitty kat get finger blasted on the couch by a Bulls player
Gonna be hard to top last New Year's Eve when the guy I blew came at midnight
He said he's in to distance fucking. I thought he just mean long durations. We fucked on a towel all the way down his tile hallway accross his kitchen and into the living room
Everyone is coupling up and I'm just excited the bartender gives me enough attention to order more shots.
There's a burrito next to my bed. Did you buy it for me or is the Chipotle fairy real? And why am I naked?
All boys are excommunicated from my vagina until further notice.
Drunk sex on a hardwood floor is never ever a good idea. Lesson learned.
grapes are the best munchies food ever cuz like the juice explodes in my mouth and my mouth gets all relieved of dryness. and the skin of the grape is like the food. and theres so many grapes!
I feel really sorry for my toilet right now
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