i ran around the party telling everyone that my favorite sexual position was also the only position that made me queef...i kept calling it the "double edged sword"
If she were to ever cheat on her husband, I'm positive I'm the the go to guy. Which flatters me and weirds me out at the same time.
Looking forward to meeting the person naked and passed out at my kitchen table.
Phone sex soon? I mean date. Sex date. Date phone.
all 3? possibly?
I think I'm up to the challenge.
Just ate a chocolate chip cookie upside down. This is what having a degree does for you.
OMG BTW REMEMBER HOW HE ORDERED PIZZA THAT ONE TIME WE HOOKED UP. APPARENTLY HE WAS HANDING IT OUT TO PEOPLE WHO LIVE IN MY BUILDING AS HE WAS LEAVING
She kept calling herself DJ McDonalds and said she wanted to make some Egg McMusic.
Let's play "Guess What I Just Found In My Vagina?"
The guy I screamed at across the bar for booing the Bruins ended up buying me shots I had to explain to him there's not a chance in hell I would ever fuck a Canadian! #Bostonstrong
I have already been up, showered, had a cup of coffee brought to me, added a little rum to cure the hangover, had sex and kicked him out and it's only 1pm. Successful day so far.
Please come to class. I miss you and I have a horse mask
I did what i always do when i miss him; masturbate and watch Bridges of Madison County.
Just dropped the most perfectly rolled joint into the toilet I just finished taking a shit in, hadn't even had time to flush, 5 second rule?
No!
But then our conversations are like black box recordings. Just the stuff you hear when the plane is going down
You asked me how red your eyes were... they were shut.
Randomize
