I keep trying to leave, but for some reason I'm staying
I'm too scared of my Fleshlight to even use it anyway.
So my shaver died while I was trimming...ya know. And now it is half way done. I don't think there's currently any aesthetic in keeping it this way...
I walked in on him shirtless licking the mirror while talking to his reflection. So yes, I definitely want to do shrooms the next time you get them.
I feel like wearing underwear would just be poor planning
In a cab. Towels everywhere. Confused.
I wish I could like. Pull my liver out, and put it in the corner of a boxing ring, put a towel and ice on it, rub it's shoulders, and tell it to "get back in there, you got this!".
We blazed in her bathtub. All 5 of us. Not easy bro
It'll just be like "PENIS HERE". In case you get lost.
I may not have eyeballs after all the drunk naked people having sex outside.
I thought I was bad, the girl next to me on the bench was feeding a bush a hamburger and introduced me. Only at lollapalooza.
Our night has progressed to doing coke off a laundry machine through a parking ticket
It stopped being casual for me when I waxed my vagina for you
Somebody put William Shatner singing Bohemian Rhapsody on the jukebox, and the whole bar is about to riot.
Grabbed the cop's ass and he still arrested Heather instead. Victory is mine!!
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