Alright folks.. i have made history - I just hit my 2nd PARKED car SOBER withing 6 months.. :*( wtf?!
I hope you get used to having plenty of sperm because you're never gonna get any.
I can make a handprint turkey for extra credit in history. I feel like the word college should be in quotes on the school letterhead.
So two questions...why am I covered in muffins and are there pictures of this.
We drank a $4 handle of tequila until 5 am. Please think about that.
he just texted me saying he needs a place to stay for the night. pretty sure i just got booty called to my own house...
You can't just take out your bong for hits in public places... That's what pipes are for. You've got to be stealthier.
No, it's okay because this is the city of trees.
YOU'VE ALREADY BEEN BUSTED MORE THAN ONCE. THAT'S NOT A VALID EXCUSE FOR BONG HITS IN COFFEE GARDEN
a guy just walked through our campsite, crouched down by the truck, screamed "ACID ONLY LASTS FOR 8 HOURS RIGHT?!", then ran off into the bushes
Feels like I ran a marathon last night. A tequila marathon.
he pissed the bed, like I literally woke up and he was pissing right beside me. With the electric blanket he's lucky he didn't get electrocuted
I am the murdurer of this scooby doo episode
I need to learn how to not be a fucking liability
I don't think Buddha would recommend a sexscpade across Mexico
I woke up in a limo in long Island, Ny this morning. Talk about a black out
Can you pay somone's bail with a credit card or just cash? I feel like you would know this.
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