ok plan lets look hot and dance like whores.
The best time of year to be high is WHEN THE KING CAKES ARE HALF OFF BECAUSE MARDI GRAS IS OVER YEEEEEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHH
Wish you were here....
And I wish your mouth was around my cock, but that never happens, does it?
she was home schooled till college. were she learned how to give the most amazing blowjobs is still a mystery.
At what point in time did you think it was ok to jizz in my hair while I slept??
Around the time you told me my brothers dick was bigger.
two words...techno handjob
Ok...drunk girls at the bar are charging $1 for motorboating. It's fucking WEDNESDAY. I never want to leave.
She just sucked the buffalo sauce out of my beard. I've never been so disgusted and hard in my life.
i robbed the continental breakfast last night
i actually pissed myself from laughing when I saw the old man in lingerie carrying a spiderman purse. I dont know if he was real or if it was the tequila, but my head hurts.
Amazing how you can get from "Merry Christmas" to sex in three texts.
I could have done it in 2
These fuzzy pants work great for sleeping, taking an exam, getting baked and watching the hobbit. I guess i'm not changing pants for 72 hours.
I just realized now that you're pregnant we can't use alcohol as currency
I don't want to resort to having sex with people that actually like me.
Ever since I got to LA my dream self has been having sex with way too many rabbi's.
Randomize
