so i was just informed that i sang that song "pop that pussy ayyy pop that pussy" at the halloween party saturday. iembarrassing.
Pre-St Patricks Day Log: Threw up across a 14ft radius, this is why the irish dont drink tequila
I Just paid off the bartender to help me convince this chic my roommate's gay. This is the best cockblock ever.
They were fighting, but then they bumped into the bong and it shattered. After that they just hugged and cried.
listening to the two girls in the next stall finish a 40 and laugh at this guy they both fucked. they're calling him 'tulip dick'.
Put cigar in mouth backwards. Plz remind to check for scar in morning, can't feel it now. Screwdrivers are like morphine.
we've coined the Sunday morning ritual of taking out our puke-filled trash cans as The Trash Of Shame
IF I CAN STICK YOUR DICK IN MY MOUTH, I CAN STICK MY GUM ON YOUR NIGHTSTAND.
no. i discovered the *exact* amount of drugs i need to do to understand calculus.
Jasmine is diving into bushes again.
yea plus he's gonna be wearing his gumby costume so that'll take a lot of pressure off too
I'll give you some leg action but I'm not showing you anything else until your penis admits it loves me
i just went to hell in the tanning bed. i think god is giving me a preview of what is in store if i keep getting drunk everyday.
you were shouting "me peeing on him is the closest he'll EVER get to my vagina!"
I'm gonna make out with this 38 yr old. Mark my words. I don't even have daddy issues.
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