This girl in my class is wearing a sweatshirt that says "LEAD ME NOT INTO TEMPTATION" ahaha I almost just laughed out loud. We could never be friends
I am literally too baked to press the call button. How am I supposed to bone him?
im not picky. i just want someone whod go down on me while im writing my psych midterm paper. thats not a lot to ask.
was his dick as big as our hopes and dreams?
I literally just wrote "I'm sorry" in my blue book, got up and walked out
I'm not sure any amount of coworker judgement will keep me from eating oatmeal with dinosaur eggs.
4 girls from the bar, me, strip basketball. here. NOW
After being his wingman last night, I've decided I will never talk about becoming a lesbian ever again. Picking up chicks is way too hard.
The Winnie the Pooh costume was great until you got drunk and started yelling at the kids asking for pictures.
I woke up to the sound of him repeatedly tapping out SOS in Morse Code using his hard cock.
Running my fingers through my hair was like that scene in Patch Adams where the old lady got to swim in a pool of pasta. I love Molly.
I'm just impressed that you can puke without losing your gum
We are all done wearing pants today
I swear I have some evil slut demon in me when I'm blacked out
Don't we all.
Nothing personal but yes I would be suspicious If I saw 3 guys and 2 girls in the same bathroom stall together
Randomize
