I have show me your genitals stuck in my head. Except in spanish. Muestrame tus genitals. Tus genitals.
When we were fucking, you could hear the beer sloshing around in my stomach
call of duty 2 was the straight man's twilight
will emailing you the 64 kama sutra positions I want to try during the 3 days your here turn you on or terrify you?
i was mezmorized. she was the most beautiful girl that looked like a boy i ever seen
I need to stop getting so excited when a guy unzips his pants and its bigger than my boyfriends. I look like a kid in a candy store.
I'm not a horrible person, I just see what everyone chooses to politely ignore.. And occasionally say it aloud whilst deeply intoxicated.
Just applied for assistance with paying my hospital bill from my alcohol poisoning at age 16 while still a little drunk from last night. What is my life.
Circle of life?
I woke up in a strange bathroom. Was I blonde when you left me last night?
I had sex on a dinosaur comforter, tell me that does not define my life.
I wrote "fuck you meg" on my toaster strudel with the icing. I call it "passive aggressive breakfast"
If I can ever get control of my legs I will be home. Thanks... and again sorry about your bed.
I wonder if my sister will drive me around while I do bong hits in the back seat..
Riddle me this: How does one check in at the Marriott, but wake up at the W?
Am i obligated to tell my sister her girlfriend was my one night stand three months ago?
Randomize
