sorry I missed your bday party.,I was vid chatting with that new guy I'm talking to all night...happy biirthday though
i think i just puked on my phone
we live great lives
I think most guys look at porn as a fallback career. I mean I know I do.
why did u have a candy cane hung on your dick in the first place?
she has a santa fetish
cute.
She makes me want to have breakfast margaritas every day
Just witnessed a circumcision at clinical. i suddenly feel a sense of reconciliation over every guy who's done me dirty...
There's something really special about 3:00 in the afternoon drunk that just can't be duplicated at any other time of day.
How does me getting a new dildo make you crave olive garden
Sometimes crazy just comes naturally. I don't need booze to say that on occasion I feel the need to rip off my asshole and throw it against the fridge to see if it sticks.
Have you picked out a bathroom stall in which to fuck? Since you've got all this free time before her plane lands...
Apparently I missed the "You may have to jack off a horse" part of the application.
Maybe you should slow down tonight...
KINGS DON'T NEED ADVICE FROM LITTLE HORN-BILLS FOR A START
Long story short I shit on a sidewalk while walking with multiple people. Then sprinted around the streets of Tallahassee in only gym shorts as I tore my toga off and wore it as a cape.
Is it bad that I'm not at all bothered by the fact that to some people I'm simply known as the girl that takes her shirt off?
It was very surreal. They were listening to a religious podcast on morality while they both went down on me.
Randomize
