I'm in a subway station watching a tranny do her makeup. This is like watching a unicorn giving birth.
I feel like I got hit by a truck made out of Jack Daniels.
And then i made him answer questions about me before i took off my clothes
i just saw her new tattoo, how much more trashy can you get than having "taste the rainbow" on your body for the rest of your life?
Mom is telling us about the time she drank her own breast milk. Help.
Well his aunt was in the next room so we had to be quiet. I felt like i was on an episode of silent library.
Last night I walked out of the bar got in a cab asked the cabi to circle the block. he did and brought me right back to the bar. I paid him $7 thanked him and walked back into the bar.
george bush was a better president for first pitches than barack obama. there. i said it.
Just made a PowerPoint called "Reasons Why You Should Fuck Me" at his request. The sad thing is we've had sex before...
first reaction to dying the pubes purple - awesome. Reaction after I explain the process - not awesome. Hypothesis? when girls find out you know to bleach and dye your hair, they're turned off.
Also. I plan to spend time with you at boomers, high, teaching ourselves how to pee standing up.
Nothing more ironic than raw dogging some random Asian hottie last night and then doing the walk of shame home from her place mixed in with the participants of the AIDS walk
With great boredom comes great irresponsibility.
Please tell me you're not on their roof again..
No more pre-dentist shots, I just puked on my hygienist
fyi my negative pregnancy test is taped to the fridge...i'll take it over an A+ any day. be proud.
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