I'm drinking whiskey outta the bottle trying to earn the trust of some ducks in the yard
Only catch is you have to sleep in the same bed as me. But no worries, I plan on being in a random guys hotel room every night. So it's essentially yours.
I don't have any money, so I'm just gonna press my boobs against him for his birthday.
How many people slept in the bouncy castle last night?
4 guys, 1 girl. Pretty sure were gonna have to pay the cleaning fee
I gather from Facebook you got drunk last night and took semi naked pictures of yourself?
Its perfect, I supply the pot she makes the brownies. I love the culinary dept.
Maybe don't sell him so much adderall next time. The other day during finals he was convinced that he could see the "molecules of life in the air" and kept reaching up slowly to grab them.
I encourage you to ignore feeling. Drinking more helps
Not saying I'm a lesbian. Just saying that every time she walks by I wanna scissor her
I think I've done enough damage with my vagina as of late, thank you
We were like one big happy Eskimo family.
There's nothing like a guy talking about your vagina as if it's delicious food to make your day better.
You kept running around yelling "I need my pajamas" & then you got naked. Shit just went downhill from there.
Ya can’t just go throwing accusations around about someone pooping their pants without some hard evidence
Our son just found our secret Sex Dungeon that is no longer hidden in our basement. He brought his Xbox and the TV down there he is currently sitting in the sex swing playing video games. What do I do?
Randomize
