neither the pictures you took nor my hangover explain why there are skittles in my shoe
after last nights cooking expirments i have lost all faith in the fire alarm battery
They had an entire room dedicated to passed out people. It was like a dogpile of cross faded toddlers drooling on each other.
Imagine that my comprehension level is that of a 7 year old and explain your plan again
i preemptively threaten to cock slap your kids if they are snobby yuppy bitches
cashier rang me up and said, "white people are funny." like i'm NOT the only white person to buy just lettuce & 40 glow sticks
i didnt have any regrets until i found out he was a freshman.... and the only reason he got into yale was because of soccer... and he wasnt premed.
An we can hold bottles of vodka in our hands singing yo ho a pirates life for me
Could have had sex with an ex NFL kicker last night.
That would've been embarrassing.
I like the fact that you've for some reason taken my penis into protective custody
Woke up naked on your sister's mattress lying next to a single slice of bread.
Rain drop, shock top, drinking can't stop stop
Wow dude wow that's sad man so sad. I dno't event wanna massturbate anymore due to teh sadness
Stop trying to mix nacho cheese and sex. Guys don’t want hot cheese near their junk. Pick a better fetish
So I tried to catch a rabbit in Terraria & accidentally blew it up with a grenade made of bees. Monty Python would be proud.
Randomize