I am so gay it hurts my loins. Going to see She's Just Not That Into You... again. Ohhh my goodness.
I'm going to let the use of the word "hella" slide considering I have sperm older than you.
this is the 21st century. you drunk fuck him and then go on a date.
she used her one phone call to ask me about my day
i hope this doesn't spoil anything but there are vikings and it is awesome
My blowjobs put them in a state of relaxation similar to that of getting hit with a tranquilizer. The fear comes after the sex.
so my mom thinks I'm picking you up just to go buy you liquor before you go back to school tomorrow...
I'm ashamed that your mom thinks I haven't already taken care of that.
Is he the circus guy or the bi-curious street preacher?
U have successfully fucked my brains out. I just almost put deodorant on like chapstick
I'm watching Pretty Woman alone and weaving a basket for Fiona. This is my life.
Wait are we really having an orgy on Tuesday?
:(. i have vodka in a fire extinguisher. that solves all problems. except fires. it would actually make that worse.
I only live four blocks from the bar but when you're hammered this walk feels like the journey through Mordor.
I just baptized you in budweriser and you were cool with it
God. Spice Girls is now grocery store demographic. Kill me.
Randomize
