why is there a picture of someone wearing Tevas with socks taped on the wall?
Just saw the liqour store owner get into a mercedes, almost proud to be responsible for that
You say "I'm in class" like it matters... I'm getting a little tired of having to smoke by myself at 4:20 because you're in class.
Note to self: Don't teach the naked lap rule in beer pong until after youve made a cup..
She stumbled in with some guy, woke me up, introduced him and said "This is my sister. She's a freshman. She probably hates you."
So I am just swinging blind here, but I am guessing that blood in your sinus is not ideal
You emptied out your taco and asked the lady for a refill...and then you continued to carry out a full conversation SCREAMING
Apparently it is impossible to get kicked out of taco bell....I'll try harder next time
Successfully masturbated while balancing on an exercise ball. my greatest accomplishment?
Probably
I think she finds the idea of a naked fat man lying on the table and holding our butter offensive
Well I mean he is in a slightly seductive pose
Hey, what did you end up doing with those ski goggles?
Anything is possible. I didn't even know I was wearing the toilet cover as a hat
Realizing life ain't all about burritos and strippers, it's a struggle out there, and it ain't looking pretty so far,..
Hold on...did you Instagram a picture of you and your boyfriend while you were sending me dirty snapchats?
I'm sorry for breaking our door. And being a bitch about it.
I'm like a saiyan, every time I get trashed I come back stronger
See that doesn't work because we've had sex so its awkward for you to call me mom
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