He's not gay. He just has bad gaydar and he gaydared himself and was wrong.
dude, I'm watching paul blart mall cop. I have better things to do than listen to you whine about your recent divorce.
Yeah, she'd be cute...but she has faith. It's a problem down south.
u just dont fucking get it...you try and cum while your cat is staring at you.
I only make drug deals in a British accent. It's my way of making sure it doesn't get too sketch.
I have a ginormous moral hangover. Strip club blues.
Hello Officers/Paramedics, judging by last night, my friend is dead. The money in his pockets is mine, he owed me. Please send me directions to whichever morgue/strip club for pick up.
The cop was yelling at you as you layed on the sidewalk and you wouldn't take him seriously cause you thought it was some dude in a cop costume.
Sit down my child. It's time you were told of my famous loss-of-virginity story entitled, "The Penis that Never Could."
Yea. Some girl set a laundry machine on fire. She's not getting married.
Just let me take your liver out and beat it with a meat tenderizer for you..
alcohol and riverdancing are a dangerous mix. have a spraind ankle. i die now
It's five in the morning. wtf?
I'm so festive that I used my jack o lantern bucket as a just in case barf bin
She was drunk, dancing on the table. Until the table leg completely broke off and she fell on the ground and broke her front tooth straight off. Worse news is there making her pay for the table
My life. Always pantsless and occasionally topless.
Randomize
