Lavender boy was great at seduction and crappy in bed.
I rubbed one out into an envelope and mailed it to her. Game point, I win.
"romantic friends" sounds more classy then friends with benfits
I pretty much gave up on you when you told me you couldn't go home yet b/c you had to stop at church first. It was 2 AM and you insisted you were late for mass.
i just ate an entire onion plain. all alone. i have never felt more single in my life
This stranger told me I should "start playing for the other team" and then continued to talk to me about the joys of being a lesbian
The other night I NICELY told her she looked like Jack Sparrow
You were sending me snapchats from a bathtub with your beer helmet on and your boobs out.
I'm beginning to think the entirety of my appeal is due to the size of my ass.
Is it bad that I've been making new friends through your vagina networking? I don't think so
Or maybe I'll just keep introducing myself like, hello, they call me iane because I need the D. Applications are submitted online, women need not apply.
You can't call dibs on the bed... every time you party you KO in the bathtub
She left a blunt and poutine on my nightstand with a note saying "went to the gym. be ready for round three when I get back" I love Canadian chicks
Mark my words I will never date another cop again. I don't care if he's JESUS.
I'm glad I can share my workout progress with you via my nudes
Randomize