took out my tampon, fucked him, and put a new one back in all before he realized I was on my period. beat that one bitch.
I think you can do her, she seemed pretty set for revenge the second time her boyfrind high fives her in the face.
There's a good chance a guy sucked off my right earring last night
This guy needs to come out; I can feel him sucking my dick from across the room.
I had to break up with him he didn't understand my priorities. I'm sorry but Saturday nights are for pot and Doctor Who. I'm not going to change who I am.
At this point if I didn't go to work hungover I think the whole place would think something is wrong
There is a dude in a thong with a Nerf axe having battles in the street. Welcome to Portland
Last night I was this close to hooking up with someone called "Handjob Pat" dubbed for the time he paid $150 for a handjob in Canada.
I'm not saying I would have to be high to sleep with him. I'm just saying it would probably help.
My ass is underappreciated
Tent sex on an air mattress requires balance and flexibility. Not for the faint of heart
Oh dear God, they have a song about Mom...
Am I supposed to get so horny by looking at your dick that I start orgasming uncontrollably
RICK BROUGHT THE HOT BARTENDER HOME. SOMEONE CALL THE FIRE DEPARTMENT, CUZ RICKYS ON FIIIIIIIRE.
lmao nvm she punched him in the face and left
just had a woman ask me to donate my eggs so that her baby could look like me. don't know whether to get a restraining order or be flattered. thoughts?
Randomize
