They use the phrase "final warning" so often the words have lost all meaning.
why is it that everytime a half black man enters something boring, it suddenly becomes sexy to people? golf? the presidency?
Someone sharpied 'shit show' on my tits. Someone with excellent penmanship
If i die in the snow, get to my laptop and delete all of the nickelback. password is "barry"
as in "white"?
It's not mothers day until you're vomitting syrup into grandma's toilet. Cherish the holidays
I had sex with her because I didn't want to hurt her feelings.. You're the one who told me I should be more sensitive.
Tim said I dropped my taco in a puddle and still ate it.
like teasing for 28 minutes, then the very last 2 minutes is where is ALL goes down. I'm talking, rings off, stable sitting position, hand job madness.
I'm not drunk enough to eat silly string
Are you coming to the bday night? i'll be doing a life-like reenactment of traveling through Bonnie's vaginal canal and taking my first breath of life. Don't think you'll want to miss it.
I can bring a slip n slide and curtains.
female sloths literally scream when they want sex and can be heard up to 700 meters away
i think i might be a female sloth
She brought over her portable harddrive and we dueled with porn. This relationship is too beautiful to last.
He knows whenever I get drunk I'm going to call him and make fun of his major. Its like a reverse booty call.
Sorry if that was awkward, i will never call you sober ever again
She said to call her, so I called her. Her boyfriend answered and traced the fucking call. I could litterally hear him yell because it turns out he lives in 4d
Don't you live in 4c?
Randomize
