i think you shook his penis after he was done peeing.
Girls are like M&M's, once the lights go out you can't tell the difference.
I knew she could be a good mother by the way she craddled three 40oz's.
I am a terrible person. This is almost as bad as when I was going to see my ex while my boyfriend was at that funeral.
He still hasn't made a move, so I slept with his brother last weekend. Maybe sibling rivalry will motivate........
Your maid of honor is passed out in a golf cart on the 18th hole.
I have bruises all over from falling so much last night, I even have bruises on my arms from them picking me up off the street.. Oh vodka nights.
So... Apparently, "Home" isn't the correct response when a cop asks for your address...
Dude where are you? I've been here an hour and all I've done is get head from a random in the stairwell.
I went full Overly Attached Girlfriend. You never go full OAG.
Well, it's a fine line between people-watching and boob-staring. It's a gray area. But we're in Paris. Let's leave it at that.
If she "comes out" to me I guess I'll high five her. That's pretty much my response to everything these days.
She's astronaut crazy. She will wear Depends and drive 12 hrs non-stop if you swipe right.
Challenge accepted
I woke up to the sound of her peeing at the end of the bed at 4am.
Apologies that our conversations always turn to butt sex or penis size. I thought we out grew that in our 20's.
Randomize
